i ate a rather large eggplant parmigiana sub for lunch, and good god am i full. i don't think i can eat for the rest of the day.

can you tell how badly i don't want to work? i'm writing about what i ate for lunch, fer pete's sake.

the friday five, a few days late, and just because i don't feel like working:

1. What was the last song you heard? uh...something called 'Regrets in Bordertown' by Dusty Trails, on msn internet radio. can't say if i like it or not; can't even hear it, what with the copier going nonstop outside my door.

also have had 'You and I Both' by Jason Mraz stuck in my head for several days now. does that count?

2. What were the last two movies you saw?
Kill Bill (part 1) and Less Than Zero.

3. What were the last three things you purchased?
cigarettes. blue canvas-y fabric and grey broadcloth (that was in one purchase). iron-on interfacing and 1/2" elastic (also in one purchase, but not the same one). can you tell what my current obsession is?

4. What four things do you need to do this weekend?
laundry. change the litter boxes. two volunteer jobs.

5. Who are the last five people you talked to?
the receptionist at work, my sister, a state employee (on the phone), another coworker, and...probably another coworker. i'm at work, what do you want.

wtf happened to the jimmy eat world site? yeah it was a little, uh, busy before--hard to find things, etc.--but this is like...a little too not busy.

ah, anyway, i should get to work.

holy crap, and so is sing blue silver. i seriously watched this every day throughout my pubescent years. seriously. must pre-order now.

ooo, arena is being released on dvd! mmm, simon strapped to a windmill...

Guardian Unlimited Film | News | Obituary: Hubert Selby Jr - died on monday. apparently it wasn't big enough news for anyone to actually report on. a sort of mentor i had in high school told me when i was maybe about 17 to read 'last exit to brooklyn,' (follow that link and you can read an excerpt) but if i remember correctly, kind of implied that i shouldn't mention to anyone that he'd told me to read it. i read it and i knew why - it was harsh. (to quote a reviewer on amazon.com, I had trouble identifying with any of the characters, they were all such a mess. and i think this can probably go for a lot of Selby's other works as well.) but man did it open my eyes to a new kind of writing, back when i was just finding out that i could write. r.i.p, Hubert.

the mind boggles on so many levels over this one:

Guardian Unlimited Film | News | In brief: Lydon wants Timberlake for Rotten role: "John Lydon wants Justin Timberlake to play him in the forthcoming film version of his autobiography. The former Sex Pistol, known as Johnny Rotten in his punk heyday, said Timberlake had agreed to the request provided Lydon stays away from the film set. Lydon's book No Irish, No Blacks, No Dogs, is being made into a film by Penelope Spheeris, the Wayne's World director."

at least some of that has to be a joke, right?

i was just going through my absolutely enormous favorites list in IE, and i found this: Tower Records - Reekin' With Love - Di Anne Price & Her Boyfriends. why is this in my favorites list? i have not a clue. but i imagine it's because i came across it at some point by accident and thought, GENIUS!! because, you know. it is kind of genius.

from the star-ledger:

The president of Rutgers University admonished the student editors of a campus humor newspaper yesterday for publishing an illustration mocking the Holocaust. Some critics called for the university to shut down the weekly publication.

The full-page drawing on the cover of Wednesday's issue of the Medium shows a man throwing a ball at another man sitting on an oven at the campus spring fair. The text reads, 'Knock a Jew in the oven! Three throws for one dollar! Really! No, REALLY!'

when i was at rutgers, the medium once had this bit piece in it called something like, 'things to do with a pencil.' one of the items on the list was 'pop a 5-year-old's hymen.' yeah. soooooooo i wrote a letter to the editor, and i'm not saying that i was responsible for the outcome, as i'm sure others (especially my co-students at the women's college) objected as well, but, according to someone i knew who did a comic strip for the medium and was at their next editorial meeting--the guy who wrote that was canned. and i said, good.

on the one hand, yes the medium was supposed to be 'edgy,' and on the whole, it was entertaining. their voluminous personals section was the craigslist's missed connections of its time and place. it was a funny paper--often vulgar, but often just funny.

i guess every once in a while, someone just doesn't get the idea of humor and has to go and ruin everyone's good time. although, you know, i really have to question their editorial authority--didn't any of them ever read what their writers submitted? or did they just run them without even a spell-check? i recall it seeming that way a lot of the time.

and um. i guess that's all i have to say about that.

oh what a great day this would have been to stay in bed...rainy and chilly and so not in the mood to work, or do much of anything. even coffee isn't motivating me, it's that bad. sigh.

someday i will make a stencil and paint it onto something, and it will be really cool.
in the meantime, here's martin gore in all his contrasty goodness.

i'm taking a ride
with my best friend
i hope he never lets me down again
promises me i'm safe as houses
as long as i remember who's wearing the trousers

depeche mode: possibly the only band ever to rhyme the word 'trousers' in a song. i *heart* martin gore.

ok so i'm killing some time, looking at pictures of johnny depp. perfectly acceptable way to pass time, if you ask me.

anyhoo, i come across a picture of a johnny 'look-alike' who is listed on a site for celebrity impersonators. so of course, i have to look at the rest of them. and i have to say, this is the WORST collection of hacks i've ever seen. maybe some of them could be maybe said to have a passing resemblance to an older sibling of the celebrity they think they look like, but most of them? such as mariah carey here? uh, no.

here is the johnny depp impersonator. also a big fat no.

state employees, i've found, come in three flavors:

1. incompetent.
2. humorless.
3. competent and friendly. i've only met one of these.

yay, it's friday! i really have an honest-to-god thank god it's friday feeling today. i don't know why. it's been a bit of a busy week, maybe that's it. i mean, it's nice being busy at work, because, you know, it's work, and having work to do at work is good. but there's just so much of it. bleh.

for many years, i have fully believed in the phenomenon of spring fever. i know it is a real thing, and it's wonderfully irritating. i have it today, and how. i am so restless, i feel like i could run up and down the stairs yelling, 'LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA' and that would be perfectly alright. and the jelly donut i just ate (which i also blame on spring fever, and my sister) isn't helping any.

have...lost...all...will...to...work...send...help...

and in completely unrelated news, i got some of this candy fluff dusting powder from lush while i was in nottingham, and i have to say, it is one of the best things i have ever owned. seriously, what is better than having skin that is soft and sparkly and smells like candy? NOTHING. that's what.

i may be mistaken, but as far as i can tell, this has been the slowest morning in the history of all mornings. jesus, it's never going to be lunchtime.

Amazon.com: DVD: Northern Exposure - The Complete First Season (1990). coming out may 25th. i will not even mention how pleased i am about this. because it is far too embarrassing.

by the way, it's lovely outside again today. supposed to only get into the low 70s, not the high 80s of yesterday, but sunny and lovely nonetheless. i wore flip flops to work today, which just makes me feel like i'm walking around in my pajamas. whee!

i just called my doctor's office to get the results of some bloodwork i had done recently, and the nurse told me my cholesterol level is 150. which is apparently pretty good. so i said to her that i've always had fairly low cholesterol, even though i--well, i eat better these days, but when i was younger i ate a lot of fast food and the like, and still had low cholesterol. so the nurse said that she's vegetarian, and strictly watches what she eats, and has always had higher cholesterol, but she's heard my same story from a lot of people. weird, no? i think cholesterol is a government conspiracy.

ok, so i go out of the country for 10 days, i come back, and it's freaking summer. i was watching the weather report on channel 5 this morning and it said high of 84 today. i checked two other stations, because i thought it was a typo of some sort, but it wasn't. people at work are all of a sudden dressing in shorts and capri pants and tshirts and such. (ok i'll admit i did wear a knee-length skirt with no tights today, and that i'm pretty happy about that. i'm just a little weirded out by the seemingly sudden shift in temperature.)

can you pass the third grade? you have to put all the states in the right place on a map in the allotted time. um, it took me three tries to get them all. and a lot of that was just guessing. i'm a dummy.

sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy...sleeeeepy. *snore*

WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK WORK !!!

LA LA LA LA I DON'T WANT TO WORK ANYMORE LA LA LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA

oh no!

MSN Entertainment - News - Is 'Lennie' Leaving 'Law & Order'?: "Veteran 'Law & Order' actor Jerry Orbach is likely to leave the hit NBC drama after this season, his 12th as Briscoe, according to industry sources who would not speak for attribution on Friday."

oh, ok:

"Orbach may not venture too far professionally: he's reportedly in line for a job in the fourth installment of the crime franchise, 'Law & Order: Trial By Jury.'"

I HATE DAYLIGHT SAVING TIME. hate. it.

i know it's just one hour, but it seriously messed me up yesterday. i completely blame it for how i stayed up until 2:30AM, watching both Harry Potter movies back-to-back and sewing a large green totebag on the nifty little sewing machine mom gave me for xmas.

anyway! i hate it! boo daylight savings time!

four things today:

1. i heard on the news this mornign that today is 'Walk to Work Day.' now, personally, i have a 40-60 minute drive to work, so walking to work AND getting there on time may have involved my leaving home around midnight. so my question is, who is this doing the assuming that so many people live within walking distance of work?

2. i went shopping at WalMart at lunchtime. yes i did.

3. i learned today that i will not be allowed to take knitting needles on the airplane next week. however, it makes no mention of crochet hooks, or my bottom-line backup, a good old needle and thread (i just got some A-W-E-S-O-M-E iron-on patterns for embroidered unicorns...thank you WalMart!). i want to call the airline and ask, but i'm afraid they will put me on The Big List of People Asking Questions About Banned Items, and then i will like be forced into a cavity search at the airport. and you know, i just don't need that kind of stress.

4. something is wrong with my face. (i will pause while you insert your own jokes here...done? ok, good.) since yesterday morning it has been red and extremely dry and a little itchy and all-around just very very uncomfortable. i don't know what it is. i feel like if i could continually have my face submerged in a vat of ice water, that would be lovely. hoping this clears up soon.

and a special added bonus random thought, because it just came to me:

5. the term 'sippy cup' really, REALLY irritates me.

Gawker: "The majority of tickets for Madonna's tour will cost between $175 and $300. For that kind of cash, you can get a three aging transexuals from Port Authority to sing 'Borderline' while gyrating on your lap."

heheh!

i don't know how long this will be available, but as of right now, you c an listen to the new Vines cd in its entirety on msn. i'm diggin it.

MSN Entertainment - News - Michael Considers Wham! Musical: "Pop singer George Michael is considering whether to turn the music of Wham! into a musical. Michael tells a London radio station two or three producers have approached him and Andrew Ridgeley with the idea.
Michael says on a creative level, he hates the idea. However, he says he knows a certain generation of people would love it."

yes, george, yes we would. do it...DO IT!!