*yaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn*

uhhhh...reviewing a rap album by attempting to rhyme each sentence in your review...LAME. very, very lame. Slate, how could you run this? Rhymer's Delight - The Beasties' old-school album rocks. By Douglas Wolk:

They rock their advanced years like Dorothy Zbornak, and they haven't brought the live funk or the hardcore back, since they've given up the hope of getting Kennedy Center honors. Now their beats are All-One, like a bottle of Dr. Bronner's...

dude, shut the eff up. really, i'm embarrassed for you. can't you just say they sound older and you like it?

time takes care of the wound
so I can believe
you had so much to give
you thought I couldn’t see


i am so in love with jeff buckley this week. i've been going walking at lunchtime for about an hour every day--or at least, every day that it's not raining, and there've been a few of those lately--and the area in which i work is largely woods and winding, hilly roads. last week, a deer actually ran past me as i walked, how awesome is that?

anyway the last couple of days, i've been listening to jeff on my iPod while walking, and my adoration of his voice and his writing have been renewed. just beautiful. if you have any of his music, please go listen to it; if you don't, please go buy some. like now.

.: Welcome to LOLLAPALOOZA 2004...or not. the tour's been cancelled. the would-be headliner? oh, poor stephen patrick, i still love you.

wtf is the point of this? i mean, really.

The Village Voice: Horoscope: Free Will Astrology by Rob Brezsny: "AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): "If you removed all of the homosexuals and homosexual influences from American culture, you would be pretty much left with the TV game show Let's Make a Deal." So proclaimed famed wit Fran Lebowitz. I'd wager that similar statements can be made about the cultures of every country where this horoscope is read. So wherever you live, Aquarius, let Lebowitz's observation be the starting point for your meditations this week. Think of all the beauty, creativity, and vitality that live in the world around you because of people whose relationships with gender are different from the standard models. For that matter, think of all the interesting experiences that have come your way—and may soon come your way again—because of your own refusal to strictly adhere to gender stereotypes."

aaaaaaaaahahahahahahh!!!!

remember this? (the post that will be at the top of that linked page, that is.) it's coming true! except for the androgynous part, but really, i can do without that.

hehehe. hehe. sigh.

:)

The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation: "'One kind word can warm three winter months.'
Author:Japanese Proverb "

weird: US Census Bureau: "$511,000: Dollar value of exports of U.S. flags in 2001. Mexico was the leading customer, purchasing $162,900 worth."

good monday morning, all.

i was just reading this article: Extroverted Like Me - How a month and a half on Paxil taught me to love being shy, on Slate.com. and it's made me really sad. because it makes it sound like paxil is really evil and worthless. yes i understand that it's a first-person account of his own experience, wherein he decided that he does not like or need paxil, but i don't get the 'it may be good for others though it's bad for me' feeling that i want from the story.

i followed a link in the story and got to Paxil database, which seems to be anti-paxil as well. fine. not everyone has to like it, and i do understand that there are questions about how safe it is (though that's for children, from what i understand...).

anyway, my point is this: i take paxil. it's a low dose, the 'starting' dose pretty much, but i take it every day. and i have side effects: nausea sometimes, dizziness or headache sometimes, jitteriness all the time and occasional tremors. (i had the 'brain zaps' they talk about on that Paxil Database when i took zoloft, but i don't have them with paxil, thank god, because those ARE evil.) i do get withdrawal symptoms if i forget to take my daily pills--it used to be it would take a couple days' worth of missing, now i think it's upped itself to happening when i miss just one day. which sucks and feels awful but is actually a pretty good motivator for me in the remembering-to-take-it area.

and i do, as the author wrote in that article linked above, sometimes stop to think about how paxil does kind of work to remove emotions, and how that might be a bad thing, really. i have considered that, that maybe i'm not dealing with some issues in my life that i should deal with, because paxil makes me not think about them. but then on the other hand, i haven't thought about killing myself since i started taking paxil. i haven't busted out crying in public for no reason. i don't walk around with so much anger in my heart that i feel like it's on fire. i am calmer. someone even told me that i act more like the 'real' me, or something like that. is the depressed me not the real me? that's something i consider, too. but that's another story, and all i'm trying to say here is that compared to spending every day in severe and quite literal mental pain, paxil and its side effects are a-ok with me. and i just wanted to share that.

The traditional Japanese art of Irezumi: a person with full-body tattoos and descriptions of what they all mean. interesting. no, i'm not thinking of doing it myself.

so i had been lamenting earlier in the afternoon, to a coworker, about how that icky bathroom smell (you ladies know what i'm talking about--public women's bathrooms smell disgusting sometimes) was wafting out into the hallway, and how that was bad, because imagine what it was like IN the bathroom.

well, finally i had to go--about 5 minutes ago--so i went in. the door was closed and the light was off. so i flipped the light on and opened the first stall (there are only 2 stalls). it smelled in there. so i closed the door and went to open the next stall...and...it was locked, and i saw feet under the door. there was someone sitting in there, in the dark, doing god knows what to create that smell. i said, 'oh, sorry!' then went in the other stall and tried my best to muffle the laughter.

seriously, that's weird, right?

so far today at work, i/we have:

1. read several websites about politics that made me very angry.
2. wrote about them in blog.
3. went out for lunch.
4. did not write about it in blog as had just eaten a large cobb salad and felt bloated and unfocused.
4. made a sash that says "Miss [company name] 2004" and a matching crown out of sparkly garland stuff, then made various people around the office (including the 2 men) wear them and come up with scenarios in which we should be required to wear them (e.g. new employees coming into the office). also took a polaroid picture of one of the male folk modelling said accoutrements. this could be deemed abusive later, and if that happens, you didn't hear any of this from me.
4. wrote about it in blog.
5. went to dunkin donuts for coffee. considered getting a caramel latte then considered the probable 3000 calories contained therein. got hazelnut coffee instead.
6. wrote about it in blog.

2 hours til i can go home...

how cool are these? buyselldiy: Cassette Journals!

apparently soldiers sometimes write letters to michael moore. can i validate or even believe 100% that they're real? no. do i have any reason to believe they're not? no. but real or not, this one is pretty powerful (until the end part where he claims to be fighting the war for mr. moore himself...metaphor i'm sure, but still. a little over the top.). the author says this in it, which i think is what i'll be thinking about for the rest of the day:

Does a conservative oppose gay rights because he genuinely understands the issue or because he's scared to face deeper levels of humanity?

i mean, it's an idea that has occurred to me before, but it is really interesting, isn't it. i work with a guy who's very into being a conservative and won't usually come out and SAY that he finds gay people wrong and evil, but i'm fairly sure that's how he feels. and in my line of work...well having feelings like that just goes against everything we're supposed to believe in and do. we have a mission statement which says clearly that we are to believe that ALL people must be afforded the opportunity to be within the mainstream of life. how can you hate gay people, or gay marriages or whatever, and believe that? that is something i actually think about a lot, and that i find very disheartening.

otherwise, it just makes me sad because i believe that quote from the letter is true. there is no other reason for people to hate each other, other than fear of intimacy, of 'deeper levels of humanity.' why are people so scared of that? is it better to be viewed as stiff and ignorant and mean, than sensitive and open to the complexities of life? i really think that conservative people, or those who would deny gay people the right to marry, who think that homeless people are homeless due to some flaw in their character, who would censor artists and inflict their puritanical values on the public at large--well, they are just living small, painful lives. people like that must have to work so hard to keep up with everything they hate; being open to different ideas and people and situations is so much easier. it really is easier to approach another human being with compassion than people in general seem to realize. they must not realize it, because so many people don't do it. there is so much anger in the world, it's really incredible.

am i starting to sound like a hippie? i've been thinking lately that i am. starting to sound like one, i mean. i've just been thinking a lot lately about my own worldview, and i'm pretty happy with it. i give a lot of credit for my current outlook to this job of mine--it has really opened my eyes to what it means to be a caring person and to love people despite (or even because of) their flaws and to afford people the chance to live the lives they want to live. does that make any sense? over the last few years, i've just become, i believe, a nicer, calmer person. i am much less angry at the entire human race; in fact, i rather like it. i have my days, of course, where i wish i lived in a cave, but on the whole, i am really just starting to see how things are. i do believe too many people are too self-centered and too angry and that if everyone could just lighten up a little tiny bit, the world would breathe a collective sigh of relief. there is nothing wrong with being happy, people. nothing at all wrong with being pleasant to each other. i'm not saying it will stop terrorism or what's going on in iraq or right any of the major social wrongs going on these days. but just being nice to each other--it really couldn't hurt anything, could it.

good opening paragraph in a review of the new Morrissey album: Sounds Like Teen Spirit - The new, less-miserable Morrissey. By Hua Hsu: "Being a fan of Morrissey and the Smiths once meant being beholden to minutiae."

the rest of the review is good, too, though the writer does bring up the 'attention to detail' thing perhaps one too many times. but he/she (Hua Hsu? what are you?) gives the album a mediocre but still In-Love-With-Morrissey-Just-Because-He's-Morrissey rating. fair enough. i'm still going to buy it.

i know this link only works intermittently, and i've posted it twice before, but it's working right now so i'm posting it again, because it really is awesome and everyone should see it: The Awful Forums - My mother is insane (~5M of photos).

woohoo, new david sedaris book, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim, is finally out! whee!

no matter what i think of politicians and war and terrorists and whatnot, Books For Soldiers warms my heart. deployed military people can request titles, and just random people send them to them, sometimes along with snacks (i suppose to eat while reading) or letters, cards, etc. i just think this is so nice. :)

wow. moviefone.com is showing full length Hitchcock movies all month. wacky, but awesome!

i have spent this morning researching knife possession laws in NJ. my job can be so weird.

something really, REALLY not right has happened to scott weiland. yeah, that's him in the middle, believe it or not. he still sounds good (vh1.com and mtv.com have the Velvet Revolver album available for listening at the moment, here and here), but he is, sadly, not the good lookin boy he was even a few years ago. weeeeeellllllllllllll, that's what the crack will do for ya, i guess.

aw, look. a photo from the wedding of willow and wesley. how sweet. sigh.